Goals and desires.

Several people I know have been writing in recent days about what they want to achieve and what they want in their lives. These are things I try not to think about.

Various events have put consideration of anything beyond surviving the next couple of days out of my mind. This morning is the worst yet:

My cat is once again at the vet's. A different vet this time. He is suffering the same problems as he's had twice before and, apparently, may have received inadequate treatment at the last place.

This involves a likely overnight stay while they work on him, though probably no surgery. They expect him to recover fully -- and will give me medication for him that cuts down on the chance that it will happen again -- but, as always when one of my animals has been suffering, it is tearing me apart. Seeing him in pain wrecks me.

And, if the estimate for services and medications is correct, it may wreck what's left of my bank account, too. Veterinarians aren't cheap.

I have no choice, though. He has given me so many years of companionship, and I cannot desert him when he's in pain.

Getting him back home and happy is my sole goal right now. There is no substitute.

With so much else in the world beyond my reach, I hope I'm allowed this one small blessing.

This place feels so empty and lifeless right now....