Friday, March 23, 2007

Bittersweet...

...is the word for today.

Early this morning, I heard from someone I haven't talked to in almost six years. It was a happy telephonic reunion.

But also sad. This person and her husband were, and are, close friends of R.B., the woman I should never have let out of my life, the woman who, despite some problems we had (for which I have to take more than half the blame), never stopped loving me, never betrayed me.

I have never stopped loving her. I looked elsewhere later after she was gone, and was taken advantage of. That's something sweet R.B. never did, would not have done, could not do.

Her name came up, obliquely, while I was talking with M. today. I bit my tongue, didn't ask what I wanted to ask, didn't say what I wanted to say. Whether I can hold back when I talk to M. again next week, I don't know.

The rest of the day has been full of memories. Good memories, but tinged with regret and loss.

Interestingly, R.B. was the only woman in my life for whom Hobbes formed an attraction.

Speaking of Hobbes: he is back to his old self, happy and more energetic than he has been for quite a while.

I stopped by the vet's this afternoon to pick up some "prescription" food for him. Everyone there wanted to know how he was doing...he made a lot of friends during his stay.

Somehow, I can't help wishing he could be reunited with R.B. Me, too....

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awww....Scribbs.... *HUGS*

I'm glad Hobbes is back to his old self again.

Gill

Anonymous said...

I am glad that Hobbes is himself too. Next time ask about this woman, and find out. Sometimes you just have to know how things turned out.
Roz

HarpO'Fly said...

Sounds like Hobbes may be the one to trust on who deserves your heart. If they don't pass the Hobbes test, out of there.

HarpO'Fly said...

I agree, nothing to gain by holding back and not even finding out what is what.

Birdie said...

I agree with the others.... why wonder and be kept in the dark? she was a major part of your life... next time, ask! {hugs} to you and Hobbes!!

lowandslow said...

Miracles DO happen, you know. Ask.

Sunny said...

Sometimes we really DO have only one love of our life, and no other can take their place.

"No matter how hard one tries. {{hugs}}"

and also am happy about Hobbes getting back on the well side again.

DAL said...

The consensus seems to be "ask about her" and I'll go along with that. And why not have her in your life even as a friend? I am still not sure what my feelings are for L, but I do think about her a lot, and I can at least talk to her, even though I know she doesn't want me.

BingoPajama said...

Whats the worst thing you can find out if you ask? Torturing yourself with possible scenarios will only kill you more.

Oh and GO HOBBES.

joan said...

I am not familiar with the entire RB story but can't imagine why it would hurt to ask.

betty said...

I agree with everyone. Can't hurt to ask. That would be a wonderful happy ending for you. {{{hugs}}}

betty said...

Oh and I'm so happy to hear that Hobbes is doing good. That really takes a load off your mind I'm sure. :)