...is the word for today.
Early this morning, I heard from someone I haven't talked to in almost six years. It was a happy telephonic reunion.
But also sad. This person and her husband were, and are, close friends of R.B., the woman I should never have let out of my life, the woman who, despite some problems we had (for which I have to take more than half the blame), never stopped loving me, never betrayed me.
I have never stopped loving her. I looked elsewhere later after she was gone, and was taken advantage of. That's something sweet R.B. never did, would not have done, could not do.
Her name came up, obliquely, while I was talking with M. today. I bit my tongue, didn't ask what I wanted to ask, didn't say what I wanted to say. Whether I can hold back when I talk to M. again next week, I don't know.
The rest of the day has been full of memories. Good memories, but tinged with regret and loss.
Interestingly, R.B. was the only woman in my life for whom Hobbes formed an attraction.
Speaking of Hobbes: he is back to his old self, happy and more energetic than he has been for quite a while.
I stopped by the vet's this afternoon to pick up some "prescription" food for him. Everyone there wanted to know how he was doing...he made a lot of friends during his stay.
Somehow, I can't help wishing he could be reunited with R.B. Me, too....
6 hours ago