Tuesday, March 06, 2007

A strange night...

...here at the place called "Land's End."

Yes, that really is the name of this apartment building. And appropriate it is, as the next step -- well, next 100 steps -- plunks you into the Pacific Ocean....

People were wandering around tonight, talking. It seemed each had had too much of their favorite high, whether booze or dope. Me, too.

One neighbor was helping his ex move to a distant city where, as it happens, I once lived. She was cheerful, he was too mellow to show that he cares. Though I know he does.

Another neighbor was polishing up parts for his cherished car. He had found them at a swap meet, and was excited to have "authentic stuff" for his ride.

Lonely, lonely people. No earth-shaking events, no politics. Just small meaningless jokes and idle chatter to hide the fact that everyone here has reached the end of their particular road and, despite dreaming big dreams as everyone does, has nowhere to go, nothing to do beyond lasting through another day.

We talk every day. None of them know what -- well, what and who -- keeps me awake every night. No one knows what shattered dreams brought me to this place.

Somehow, we all make each other laugh. But sometimes, most of the time to be honest, the laughter is forced, hollow.

Some of us reach a place from which there is nowhere to go. This is one of them.

This is Land's End. It says so on the building.

Be glad you're not here. I wish I wasn't.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lands End is a romantic title...appropriate.

Sunny said...

Me too. I have decided on that. It's "Land's End" for me.

Oh and we also have one of those Land's End places

right here at the very southern end of St Petersburg Beach, on Pass-A-Grille.

{{BigHugs}} and sweet dreams to you, MrScribbler.

KauaiFinn said...

As sad as this entry was, it was SO beautifully written...

And I have to tell you that i've got you beat. I'm at the most western point of the United States. Everything loose in the nation eventually lands here when its turned on its side.

I am at the end of my rope - and i've gone as far west as one can go with this passport.

Maybe i'm in pergatory... If so, it's a pretty pergatory. Very pretty. But equally as hopeless.

Warm Hawaiian HUGS

MrScribbler said...

KF -- Maybe if I could see Hawai'i from here, it wouldn't seem like the end of the earth to me.

Of course if I could see it, I'd just roll on over and wrap my misery in Paradise.

Kim said...

But Scrib, you choose to live there. Remember, as most things in life, it's a choice. Move to Australia!

MrScribbler said...

kim, dear -- I strongly doubt Oz has a place for an aging hack writer, much as I'd love to try it...I did look at NZ's immigration policy and found I am definitely Not Wanted there.

HarpO'Fly said...

I like the way that flowed.
Anywhere can be Land's End. It is a state of mind or condition of circumstance, or both. Anywhere I look, I see a road to somewhere, geographically. Sometimes it seems they all lead nowhere, and sometimes I'm sure one will take me to a new better life.
Maybe I should not fear the ones that don't lead to the ocen, as I usually do.

Sally said...

Land's End sounds nice, maybe it will get better someday. I hope so..(((hugs)))

betty said...

I love the name Land's End. And how I would love to just walk to the beach. I think you're very lucky in several ways, MrS. I hope you can be lucky in other ways. {{{hugs}}}

joan said...

Lonely place perhaps but it sounds like more social interraction than a lot of neighborhoods. I bet there is a book full of short stories there. Hang in MrScribbler.

Birdie from the office said...

Land's End if you look west... try looking east...there's a lot of land to be discovered!
It's all a matter of perspective... you are seeing things more and more negative, like Betty does... that's not good! I know it's not easy, but you really must DO something, even if it means packing up and moving somewhere else... away from Land's End!! {{{hugs}}}