Thursday, August 09, 2007

What's the matter with me?

My photographer friend D. -- whose eye problems are not as serious as first thought -- called this morning. Sometimes I think his vocabulary is severely limited; all he can say is "we have a job tomorrow!"

Said job is calculated to get my attention. It involves something I enjoy doing; it falls, in fact, into the subset of articles I find easiest to write, the kind that make "civilians" babble on about what a glorious gig I have.

I surprised myself by almost telling him to forget about it. I didn't, but I came too damn close.

There are too many negatives piling up: the individual who is making this particular story possible (he's given to making exaggerated claims which I have to research and then gently edit out of the finished product), the magazine that wants the story (which is building up a fair backlog -- not yet paid for, of course -- of my articles), and my general disinclination to work right now.

That's balanced, to some extent, by the fun factor: someone is giving me a toy and telling me to go out and play with it.

The worst of it -- and I am embarrassed to admit this -- is that I have no one to share the fun with. Oh yeah, I can share it with you (in heavily redacted form), and D., and people who are inclined to be enthused about the subject.

But I have found, more and more, that I miss having someone around to ask what work was like today. I miss being able to tell the whole story of what happened, what I did and didn't do, tell the funny/irritating/sad truth about the people involved, which I can't do with you or even the magazine's readers. I miss having someone to rub the aching muscles I will definitely have by tomorrow night.

Heck, I miss those things or their equivalents every night.

For me, having a good time and doing something most people don't get to do loses much of its luster when I'm alone.

It's getting to be too high a price to pay.

You're welcome to tell me I'm too hung up on the half-empty glass syndrome. Maybe I am.

But I'd trade fun at home for fun at work any day, Jim.


lowandslow said...

An honest question: Are you involved with a group of people, do you go places, do things, volunteer places where it might be able to meet an interesting person of the soft'n curvy gender? It's unlikely they are going to seek you out, Scribbs. You need to put yourself in places/situations that are...what was that line in top Gun?...."target rich environments". I'll bet my life's fortune (all $8) that there is a wonderful lady out there right now saying how lonely she is, and why can't she meet someone nice? Just JS'ing and working 24/7 isn't going to give you that opportunity. When you take your walks take along a cute little dog. Dogs are definite ice-breakers. You're a great guy Scribbs, and I just know you'd be a great match/catch for some lucky lady out there. You just need to be at the right place at the right time. To answer your original question, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is the matter with you. :)

Sunny711 said...

Oh yes, and I wish I was that lucky lady. I'm too old and too sick,lol.

You are a wonderful guy, MrScribbler.

I agree with everything lowandslow said. Nothing is wrong with you! ((warm cyber hugs))

John said...

Keep your eye out for thrill seeking hitch hikers. You never know, you may find heaven on the side of the road

benb said...

I'm right there with ya. I have kids I come home to everyday, which is NOTHING the same as coming home to a lady that I would be in love with - and she with me. I have thought frequently in my current circumstances how nice it would be to have someone close - very close - to be able to talk this whole thing out with. I have no such luxury, and it plainly - sucks. Lord knows if I had more time, I would definitely be doing some of the things I have come across in order to "find" that person (besides going to church, bars and other things to find said-such).
Here's hoping she comes along your way - and soon!!