Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Everybody's crazy...

...but three people -- Lisa Nowak, Larry Craig and Michael Vick -- are crazier than damn near anyone right now.

Nowak is the naughty astro-nutty who seems to have been bent on laying some severe pain on one Colleen Shipman, a supposed rival for the affections of another astronaut, and drove dman near cross-country equipped with pepper spray, BB pistol and folding knife. And diapers, too, so she didn't have to stop for nature's call on the highway.

In the courtroom, Nowak's lawyers are planning to lay down the "temporary insanity" bit to see if the judge will buy into it. They're claiming that she had "no one to talk to," "marital problems" -- cheating on hubby is a sure way to cure those, no? -- and this was just a "one-time thing."

I don't necessarily think jail time is going to do Nowak any good, but someone needs to tell her to grow the hell up. A lot of people have similar problems; some do find a friend to confide in, some drink, some roll up in a ball for a few months with the blinds closed. What most of us don't do is set off down the road with weapons to confront the one we feel wronged us.

And then there's Larry Craig, a senator from Idaho, who was arrested after bending down to pick up a bar of soap piece of paper in a men's restroom in Minneapolis and acting in a suspiciously "gay" way in front of a cop.

Craig says he's "not gay." Big deal; he'd say that whether he is or isn't. The whole deal reeks of entrapment to me. Or maybe he does get his kicks from trying for some action in a public john; who the hell cares?

Of course Craig is now Mr Evil in D.C. As if he is the first -- or 51st -- to get caught in a "scandalous" position. Remember Barney Frank? All he did was pay a male hooker, get him a job in Frank's office and invite him to move in, from which cushy apartment ol' Barn's boy-toy ran a little business for call-boys.

But Frank is from Massachusetts, Home of the Kennedys, where the morality of elected officials counts for little, and not Idaho, which is Nowhere.

Actually, Craig needs to be told to grow up, too. If he needs to resign to maintain the so-called "probity" of senators and members of Congress, then so do a large number of others, whose sense of shame should be far deeper if they had any shame at all.

Finally, there's Michael Vick, dog-killer and apparent kingpin of an illicit dogfighting/gambling enterprise. He laid down a guilty plea -- minus the insanity defense or Craig's later claims that he was "coerced" to cop out to nasty behavior and was "misunderstood" -- but he made sure the entire universe knew he "found Jesus" while waiting for the ax to fall and his big-time NFL contract to be yanked.

Jesus always shows up in the period between the time you get caught and the time the punishment is handed out, you know.

Might work for Nowak and Craig, too.

Can I have a three-way "A-men?"

PARENTHETICAL SHUT-THE-HECK-UP-LARRY QUOTE: "I don't go around anywhere hitting men up, and by God if I did I sure wouldn't do it in Boise, Idaho!"


lowandslow said...

The Three Stooges gone awry? :)

MrScribbler said...

Larry, Mike and Curly?

Anonymous said...

"probity"!! Ah, le mot juste! Well done!

MrScribbler said...

nullmuse -- I realize Larry might misunderstand the meaning of "probity," but that's okay by me.

betty said...

They're all nuts but Michael Vick..I think he's just evil! I can't imagine what those poor dogs went through. It breaks my heart! I like dogs and cats better than most people anyway!