Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sometimes...

...all you want to do is put your head down and say: "make it stop."

That's where I am tonight.

Unfortunately, no one is listening. At least no one who can soothe away the pain.

PARENTHETICAL YEAH-I'M-A-WIMP THOUGHT: I know this makes me sound weak. No one wants to be around a weak man, right? But we are not invulnerable, and honesty is not weakness. Besides, we don't want to get into the support mechanisms some women who diss "weak" men can -- and do -- rely on, do we?

I'm too tired, too frustrated, too angry, too lonely to put words together. I've tried, turning out six entries this afternoon. Each should have been written in invisible ink, and thus was deleted.

No doubt I'll face tomorrow with more energy, if I can sleep tonight.

But I have to wonder how many more times I can jump back into the same old pit with nothing more than the same old results to show for it.

I know what people might say about this, just as I know what those more closely involved would say if they knew how much they have worn me down.

I don't care. The time comes when it's just too damn much.

Like tonight.

4 comments:

Interested said...

Get some sleep Scrib. Tomorrow will be a better day :)

John said...

You know my views and theories, so I'll spare you.
It may take changing something that is not easy to change. You are not weak. Maybe not even a wimp. Just do as I say, ignore what I do, and all will be well. Then if it works, tell me to do the same.
I hope that helped.

Anonymous said...

Being human and overwhelmed is just that...not weakness. Sometimes we feel like we are just beating our head against a brick wall and yes, you are there! Today will be better...Lou

lowandslow said...

Everyone has their strengths and "weaknesses". That does not make you weak. Accentuate your positives and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hope today is better for you. :)