...and they're all jammed up in my head.
There's a big, seething mass of words piled up, some bundled into finished thoughts, others wandering around looking for a sentence to hang on to.
I've tried. Oh yes, I've tried. But they simply won't come out.
Once upon a time, I loved words. I spread them around joyously, secure in my ability to use them to amuse, provoke thought, educate, sometimes even make someone happy in special, personal ways.
Now, I fear words. I dole them out like a miser parting with gold, constantly anxious lest they offend, hurt, make bad situations worse, reveal too much or too little.
The words are still there. But I seem to have lost the ability to use them to good effect, so they remain stashed in the dark warehouse of my mind, waiting for happier times they may never see.
3 hours ago
3 comments:
Sometimes the tacit restrictions seem to cover everything. I hate it when that happens.
i am sorry to hear that. whenever i am in that state, it's the worst. i hope you are otherwise feeling well.
This post, Scribbs, epitomizes why we love your blog so much.
It also epitomizes what has happened lately in my own corner of the world; what do you do when everything you say to someone you're trying to encourage gets twisted? You feel like your interaction with them is nothing but minefields and barbed wire. And yet, ONCE they clung to your solace like a koala baby to its momma, describing your effect as "sunshine in darkness."
This is going into my keeper file (not just bec. of the content, but the wonderful way you phrased it!). I was laughing with literary delight at the same time I was weeping @ its applicability to my own life.
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