In recent weeks, I've written perhaps a dozen little essays -- if I may give them what is perhaps a too-grandiose title -- intended for use here. They remain safely stashed away on my computer.
In each case, something made me hesitate before putting them up for others to read.
And that may be a good thing.
Or it might be a bad thing. They reflect my state of mind at the moment they were written, are reasonably lucid and definitely honest. Reading them might clear up a few misconceptions about aspects of my life and feelings in the minds of some who come here.
Nonetheless, stashed away they are, and stashed away they are likely to remain.
It's not all about the fear I mentioned last night, though that surely plays a part. Nor, I hasten to add, does it have anything to do with said writings being libelous or mean-spirited.
Frankly, the primary reason, so far as I can tell, is that I still have faint hope (however illogical and pathetic that hope may be) that some of the more miserable parts of my current existence may yet be turned around, and that would render some of what I've written invalid. I don't want to burn bridges before I cross them, so to speak....
Various hassles surrounding work are weighing heavily on my shoulders right now. I may write about them later. At this point, I'm up for burning a few bridges there....
1 day ago