Sunday, May 07, 2006

Not quite ready...

...to plow through the piles of touristy-type photos I took in Germany and set up a travelogue. Give me time, though; I will get on with it soon.

The snag is my current mood, which has been growing progressively more gloomy in the hours since my return to home base. It would seem that my previously posted request to not be forgotten has fallen on deaf ears. Or blind eyes, if you want to be more literal.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m not referring to those of you who visited and left comments, of course....

I will, however, spare you the rant that leads naturally from my current mood. Let’s just put it like this: loneliness sucks. It really, really does.

Oh, I did take a stab at getting some photos cropped and resized to put up here. I really did. I looked at the city views, the Alpine vistas and all the rest – including a few from the working portion of the trip, which could be too revelatory about my “real” self but are too cool to leave out – but looking at them this morning brought back the same thought that was running through my head when I took them:

”I can’t wait to show these to ----.”.

Well, ---- doesn’t seem to be interested. Not in my wanderings, not in me.

And that hurts, let me tell you.

It’s possible that there are extenuating circumstances. In fact, I know there are. But I also fear they are to some degree a smokescreen. If ---- had wanted to welcome me home, or let me know I still exist, I suspect she’d have found a way.

I hope I’m wrong about that, hope it’s simply been impossible for her to send a message. That’s what I want to believe.

I’ll get over it. Enough, at least, to go ahead and tell the story to anyone else who’s interested.

May not be today, though.

Sorry about that. At least you can take some consolation in knowing that you don't have to sit here with me in person and listen to me moaning about it.

For now, I'll leave you with a picture of my favorite highway sign from the trip....

4 comments:

Birdie said...

would you believe I've NEVER seen that sign before?
oh, and you're reader's pick at JS... now that should make you feel good. Like I try to tell myself often... think more about the positive stuff and people and less about the negative....

MrScribbler said...

Been to Munich often, birdie? it's on one of the roads leading from the A8 (Mittlerer Ring Ost, I think) into town.

(Yes, I cheated and just now looked at the book of driving directions we were given....)

HarpO'Fly said...

I'm trying to interpret that sign. Is it that you have to take the first exit to then get to the second or third ramps?
Maybe it's the Germans' way of letting the rest of us know we are mental midgets.
Glad you are back. I keep trying to find shortxuts to a cure for these unwanted feelings. I have yet to succeed.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back home safe, MrScribbler:)
Thanks for sharing all these great pictures too!

It's great to see other parts of the world. ((hugs)) from Sunny