Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Decisions....

I have to make one.

Actually, I have to make several, but only one is crucial.

It's as if I'm walking across a field of balloons wearing spiked golf shoes. I'm doing my best to tread very carefully, don't trust either my instincts or judgement. I know what I think is the right thing to do, the best thing to do, know what the ideal outcome would be, but I am far from certain anyone else affected by my decision would agree.

Avoiding it is not an option.

But the feeling that whatever I decide to do will be the wrong thing at the wrong time is inescapable.

Once I make up my mind about the one important decision, the others will be laughably simple.

Or they won't mean a thing.

Somehow, all my years of various experiences dealing with people have not prepared me for this.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

good luck on whatever that decision may be.

Anonymous said...

I am so afraid for you... Not to be discouraging, but you have a recent history of laying yourself open in situations that have disaster written all over them... Can you really take another blow so soon after these others? Making the broad sweeping assumption that this has anything to do with your lady love... When pressed to a wall and forced to act or choose before she's ready, what do you realistically think is going to happen? I know logic never seems to come into play in these things, but I so wish/hope you would not get hurt again...

John0 Juanderlust said...

Somewhere along the way someone changed a few of the laws of physics, or metaphysics. It is quite strange to wake up finding it all changed overnight.
I'm pulling for your survival in better style, and with more happiness than you ever expected. That's my wish.