Thursday, May 11, 2006

Keeping the lips zipped...

...is foreign to my very nature. Even so, this seems a time to be doing just that. At least about the Big Issues.

It's not that I have nothing to complain about. The world as I know it seems to be crumbling, and enduring the changes in silence will only hasten the collapse.

Consider this: our government is bending over backward to coddle law-breakers and throw the borders wide open in the illegal-alien situation. The president and a majority of Senators and Representatives are ignoring the wishes and needs of the citizens who put them in their cushy billets in favor of ensuring themselves a supply of new voters with reason to be grateful to them (which ordinary Americans definitely are not), as well as lots of financial support from those companies salivating over an endless stream of fresh low-wage "workers" to exploit.

Or think about my home state, where a judge is ready to throw out the state-mandated high school exit exam because having to demonstrate a basic proficiency in math and English somehow "discriminates" against minorities.

There are plenty of other irritants grating on me, too. We, as Americans, and human beings in general -- don't want those of you in other countries to feel left out -- have become idiots.

But I'm not going to weigh in with my opinions right now.

The reason is simple: my own life is such an unhappy mess that I can't be as rational as I'd like about The Big Picture.

What makes this particularly galling is that a single change in my situation would turn things completely around. No, it wouldn't solve all my problems; rather, it would give me the energy and desire to straighten what's bent and fix what's broken.

I have the strength, and the skill, to do any damn thing I want or need to do.

But even the most powerful engine is useless when it has no fuel.

That's where I am.

I know what fuel I need, know the source for it. But I can't go get it.

To so extent, that's my own fault; my desire to be a gentleman, to avoid adding strain to anyone else's life, has rendered me inert when perhaps I should not be.

Am I my own worst enemy? Are those pieces of my character I consider most admirable contributing to my downfall? Possibly so.

At some point, I may have to put all my remaining chips on the table and place my final Big Bet. If the ball drops in the right slot, I'm gold; if not, how much worse could things be?

I see that day coming. In some ways, it frightens me. But I see fewer and fewer alternatives.

With all that in mind, I think it's easy to see why I'm not writing letters to my Congresscrooks or signing up for any kind of civic/political involvements.

In the end, I am more important to me than anything -- or anyone -- else. When my own mental/spiritual house is in order, then I can put energy into making the world a better place for everytone else.

And I will. When that happens.

If.

15 comments:

fin said...

Still sounds (of course only hints mind) as if someone besides you is responsible for your own well being.

Well, if that really works for ya, fine, I suppose.

MrScribbler said...

That's a bit simplistic, fin. Are you content to be alone for the remainder of your life, or is having someone else in it contributing somthing positive, ex-curmudgeon?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. I feel much the same way you do, MrScribbler.

Life with that one someone special would make life better in everything.

My life's ok, but I too, need that fuel you are talking about! ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

That was from me, Sunny at Tropical Times :) It's neat over here!

fin said...

Scrib - While I was not HAPPY at being alone, I had accepted the fact that I was so. I took responsibility for my own entertainment and self development.

The totally unexpected entry of a wonderful woman into my solitary life is obviously one of the most splendid things ever to occur in my long life and I am undyingly grateful. But I think I had to prepare the ground myself to make a comfy, happy place for her in my life, and that I did pretty much on my own.

There remains a very long list of positive things that you can do to enrich your own life by yourself. I keep hoping that you will undertake some of these and will be suitably enriched.

MrScribbler said...

I've "prepared the ground," fin, and I am not at a loss for things to do in the "self-enrichment" area.

But I would like to be happy as well. There are certain things one cannot do for oneself, and I need to participate in them, too.

I hope your current situation keeps you from ever learning how futile a solitary life can end up being, no matter how much you can do by yourself, for yourself.

BDraggs said...

Being alone sucks. Period. It sucks and it doesn't stop sucking until you are NOT alone.

MrScribbler said...

Amen, Ms Draggs, amen!

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