I may have to buy a tree this year...

...because it seems I may actually get a present. And a present should go under a tree, ja?

PARENTHETICAL I'M-NOT-GREEDY THOUGHT: There's a fair likelihood I will get two presents, but I am trying, with utmost politeness, to refuse one. Not because I don't want it, but for somewhat complicated reasons. Watch this space....

The last time I had a Christmas tree, as far as I can recall, was 1991. The woman with whom I shared a house insisted; she wanted it as much for herself as for her kids. And we had four cats -- including my beloved Hobbes -- who got more fun out of trees than we did, as neither of us had the heart to keep them from sleeping in the branches, playing with tinsel and ornaments, and generally making one helluva mess out of it. It's not easy to be angry with the kittycats when you're laughing your head off....

Somewhere in my garage, I have a box of decorations: lights, ornaments, the whole schmeer. When she left, she took the really cool string of chili-pepper lights, but I still have the rest.

So this gift may arrive within a week or so. I will want to unwrap it right away. But I may try to keep it unopened until Christmas Day. I sense a small need to pretend that the old traditions are not totally beyond my reach.

In related news, I sent off a gift today, many months after I intended to. Much as I was too embarrassed to admit it to the recipient -- who seldom pokes her pretty nose in here, I'm afraid -- I simply couldn't afford the cost of shipping. In a way, I can't now. But I am a sucker when a few extra bills show up in my wallet (even when I know they are members of an endangered species), and dedicated them to making someone's day a tiny bit brighter. Hope it gets there before St. Nick does.

This is one of the things that breaks my heart at Christmas. I've loved playing Santa when it was possible. Given my druthers, I'd have presents piled high under the tree so that those whom I like and love could drop by and unwrap something. Maybe more than one something....

In any event, I may buy a tree. I think the 99-Cent Store has tiny plastic ones. Perhaps I could glue several together with a tube of Krazy Glue (also 99 cents).

But I am getting a gift. And much as the giver has tried to downplay it, there is nothing* that could please me more.

* Yeah, there's another "something" that could fill me with joy but, practically speaking, I've long since given up on Santa Santa putting one of those in, well, a pair of Christmas stockings....