What am I, stupid?

Don't answer that.

I heard today that a nearby community has been running a "Gifts For Guns" campaign. Bring in a piece and get a $50 gift certificate to a local store.

SHORT PARENTHETICAL PAUSE...while we all hold hands and sing "Kumbayah."

Uh-huh. Yup. All those gangbangers are going to hand over their weapons for a chance to blow half-a-C at the Target Store. I know the authorities are saying this was a big success, with 479 guns turned in.

Somehow, I don't expect to see a big pile of Uzis, TEC-9s and similar lethal hardware. I'd be willing to bet what they got was a bunch of rusted-out .25-caliber handguns that haven't been fired since Eisenhower was president.

ANOTHER PARENTHETICAL NOTE FOR THE GUN-SAVVY: you don't have to tell me all guns are lethal. Lee Harvey Oswald used an old and relatively cruddy Mannlicher-Carcano rifle and, if my memory's right, Sirhan B. Sirhan did his thing with a cheap-o Iver Johnson pistol. If one truly wants to off someone, anything with a trigger, barrel and bullets will work. If the damn thing doesn't jam, that is.

Sorry, all you peace-and-love types over there in Compton -- I do not feel any safer as a result of your well-meaning bit of liberal holiday spirit.

I used to live in The 'Hood. I recognized the sound of some of the guns I heard fired on New Year's Eve and other festive occasions. They were not Saturday-Night Specials, no siree. Think M-16, think Colt .45 Military, think big, nasty stuff smuggled home from The "Nam. And the weapons have gotten far more sophisticated -- and deadly -- since then.

If the good people in the --shall we say -- crime-heavy neighborhoods want to slow down the continual escalation in violence, there is one way only: let the police come in and do sweeps. Let them deal harshly with the gangbangers, drug-runners and other low-lifes who reach for a gun at the slightest provocation.

It's "use a gun in a crime, go away forever" time, baby.

I know the NRA will consider me a traitor, but though I do not want the Feds to know what weapons I have, how many rounds are in chambers/clips and when I fired them last -- especially after the recent election -- I see no earthly reason for collectors or shooters to have weapons designed to rock-and-roll through a full clip of hollow-points in a matter of seconds.

Unless you like your deer meat shredded and/or really cannot see a target 25 yards away, you do not need such devices.

Unless, that is, you are one of the "misguided, underprivileged youths" who deals with life by blowing rival gang members and innocent bystanders away.

I am sick and tired of the professional apologists who believe -- or at least profit from -- the notion that enough tax money spent on "Community Centers" and "Gang Outreach Programs" will make the problem go away. They are wrong, and all the good will in the world won't change that.

There are certain basic laws in a civilized society, and the first is this: those who deal in violence must be dealt with accordingly.

And "the way" does not involve $50 gift cards. It involves demanding responsibility and civilized behavior.