Friday, December 22, 2006

The tide turns...

...and not for the better.

I won't be depressed during the Christmas and New Year's season. I'll be depressed and angry.

It's not that anything worse than usual happened today. There were annoyances, of course, but nothing out of the ordinary.

The misery of the past nine months is simply coming home to roost.

I have to work tomorrow, and I'm damned if I know how I'm going to put on the expected friendly, optimistic face to deal with the people I have to see.

From tomorrow night through New Year's Day, it's just me. I can no longer fool myself, so won't even bother trying.

I'll need to stay away from little kids for the next two days. I'd like them to carry on believing in Santa Claus, like them to continue to believe in the miracles of the season.

If you, dear readers, have any love and warmth in your lives, hang on tight. Don't let go of it, don't take it for granted. The love promised to me was a mirage and has been given to someone else. And I didn't even take it for granted.

Can there be anything worse than a joyless Christmas and an impending New Year that promises nothing but more loneliness and pointless struggle?

I'll try to return tomorrow with pictures of pretty lights.


Anonymous said...

don't be angry! tis this season...besides, it gives women out there another excuse to go shopping! happy Holidays!

Interested said...


Somehow you have to put that behind you and move on. You are cheating yourself of being happy and finding the next one.

I'm praying for you :)


likeisaid said...

I'm praying really hard that the perfect person will appear in your life and you'll never be lonely again. It will happen, I know it will. (((hugs)))

Sunny said...

"I wish" you could spend the holidays with me. I'm much in the same boat as you are! ((BIGHUGS))from Sunny :)

T-E said...

Someone once told me that dperession was just anger without the motivation. Sounds like you're motivated!

Anonymous said...

So Scrib - why dont you hop on a plane to Tampa and go hang out with Sunny?

MrScribbler said...

I'm not hopping any planes to anywhere for a while, alas. No budget, and my cat-sitter's on holiday.