Monday, December 11, 2006

I have the solution!

So now we're finally hearing the truth about global warming.

Forget Al Gore and his merry band of wackos. Forget all the Concerned Scientists, Hopeful Mothers For a Wonderful World, and all the other dimwits who want to penalize SUV drivers while China continues to pour pollutants into the atmosphere.

Now we know: it's not the hideous waste of dead dinosaur juice that is destroying the planet.

Nope. It's cows.

Yup. Bessie and her pals are doing more damage to the environment that Man (or, for you politically correct types, persons) could do in their most rapacious fantasies. Their crime: pooting out vast quantities of gaseous emissions.

What a conundrum! Vegetarians want to let the cows roam free, and the rest of us want to turn them into steaks and burritos.

I, however, being the caring-for-the-planet guy I am, have a solution!

And I offer it for free....

Global warming, at least as it is understood by the scientists, can be overcome. All they need to do is click here for the Ultimate Solution.

I should be the Secretary-General of the UN. At least.


DAL said...

If people could ease up on the consumption of beef, there wouldn't be so many forests being levelled to raise the cattle that are increasing the greenhouse gas emmissions.

On the other hand, forests give off CO2, which is another greenhouse gas.

Give cows SUVs, I say.

MrScribbler said...

Good grief, dal, how many humans would cows wipe out if we put 'em in SUVs?

becomingkate said...

This gives me more reason to enjoy steak!