Sunday, December 31, 2006

8:23 to go...

...and I have just returned from the market.

While I walking into the store, I heard a horn blaring behind me. An elderly man in a battered old Nissan was backing out of a parking space, and the driver of a giant SUV had to slam on the brakes to avoid him.

The SUV driver, complete with blow-dried hair and form-fitting t-shirt over his potbelly, leaped from his truck and started screaming at the old man, who looked both bewildered and somewhat frightened.

As the SUV driver approached the Nissan, a woman ran over and stood in front of him. "Hey," she said, "that's an old man in the car. Be nice, okay?"

I could see the SUV driver, stoked up on his hate weed, was about to move the argument to a new level. I began to move toward the confrontation. Before I could get there, a guy who looked like a biker -- and, in our neighborhood, probably is -- walked over, stood between the jerk and the woman (the old man still sat in his car). Though he was perhaps two inches shorter -- and maybe 100 pounds lighter -- than the SUV creep, the biker moved to within an inch of him and said, "bro, how would you like a new face for New Year's?"

SUV Creep backed off, retreated to his Expedition and, as he rolled up the window, started yelling threats about "police," "jail" and "assault charges." By then, Mr Biker was standing next to his door, with four more people standing behind him. The woman was talking to the old man in the Nissan, occasionally putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

The Expedition took off at full speed, hitting an empty shopping cart and barely missing a couple of cars when he reached the street.

So. Nasty, Evil Biker versus Mr Solid Citizen. Whose side would you take? I know where I ended up...I was one of the four ready to assist in some reconstructive surgery on that arrogant shit in his oversized look-at-me toy.

This might be as good a place as any for me to wish SUV Creep, and all like him, a thoroughly rotten New Year.

In fact, I wish the same to all who throw their weight around, lie to take advantage of, hurt or frighten others, or are simply plain old fuckweasels.

Conversely, I hope Nasty Evil Biker, that sweet woman, the bewildered old man and all like them a joyous New Year.


kelly said...

Oh I hate ppl like SUV creep...I would have done exactly the same as the other ppl but probably would have added a swift kick to SUV creep's groin.

lowandslow said...

Cool. This story made my day. Everybody is so down on bikers, but the few that I've known, despite how they look, were really good guys. Mr. SUV creep will eventually go one step too far. "What goes around comes around".

MrScribbler said...

Around here, l&s, it's the bikers and lowriders who run Christmas toy drives and are generally good citizens, if you don't count the occasional early-morning rider who has straight pipes on his putt....

Go figure.

Birdie said...

I'm with you on this one 100%.... and I hope that shopping cart put lots of nice scratches in his paint job :-)