...or, at a minimum, brain overload is what I'm experiencing right now. I know it's not "brain death," since I can still respond coherently to outside stimuli.
I can't write what I should be writing now -- which is an article -- and I can't bring myself to deal with any of the things that are swirling around in my mind. They are all important (well, most are), but every time I try to concentrate on one, the others intrude and it all turns to mush.
Some normal things happened today along with some frustrating and irritating things -- just like every day -- and a slight glimmer of a possible-but-not-to-be-depended-on good thing appeared on the horizon late in the afternoon. I managed to cope with the latter, which involved sounding enthusiastic over the phone and composing an enthusiastic email, but after that the circuits failed again and my mind is a blank screen.
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm bouncing off the walls, making strange noises but accomplishing nothing.
This is one of the many, many times I feel loneliness the most. If someone were here, I could babble until I ran out of breath and she'd smile and bring me some tea, would tell me it's all okay, might even find a way to untangle all the wires and get me functioning again.
In fact, a few carefully chosen warm words and a warm touch would probably effect a total repair of the broken cognizance unit.
But I'm not going to know for sure.
All I can do is hope the circuit-breakers reset themselves. I sure as hell don't know how to do it.
1 day ago