Thursday, January 04, 2007

Brain freeze...

...or, at a minimum, brain overload is what I'm experiencing right now. I know it's not "brain death," since I can still respond coherently to outside stimuli.

I can't write what I should be writing now -- which is an article -- and I can't bring myself to deal with any of the things that are swirling around in my mind. They are all important (well, most are), but every time I try to concentrate on one, the others intrude and it all turns to mush.

Some normal things happened today along with some frustrating and irritating things -- just like every day -- and a slight glimmer of a possible-but-not-to-be-depended-on good thing appeared on the horizon late in the afternoon. I managed to cope with the latter, which involved sounding enthusiastic over the phone and composing an enthusiastic email, but after that the circuits failed again and my mind is a blank screen.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm bouncing off the walls, making strange noises but accomplishing nothing.

This is one of the many, many times I feel loneliness the most. If someone were here, I could babble until I ran out of breath and she'd smile and bring me some tea, would tell me it's all okay, might even find a way to untangle all the wires and get me functioning again.

In fact, a few carefully chosen warm words and a warm touch would probably effect a total repair of the broken cognizance unit.

But I'm not going to know for sure.

All I can do is hope the circuit-breakers reset themselves. I sure as hell don't know how to do it.

9 comments:

Laura said...

I know what you mean. I don't know where I'd be without the people I confide in, and when they're all unavailable for the big brain dumps like the one you're describing, it's the only time I feel truly lonely. Feel free!

EarlGrey said...

I hear you, Mr. S. For better or worse, I'm standing right next to you.

DAL said...

I decided to stay away from JS tonight and vegetate in front of the TV. I think brain overload was my issue today.

I wish my circuit breakers would open so I could shut down.

Anonymous said...

You were making strange noises? Describe these strange noises.

-Lauren

likeisaid said...

I so understand what you mean. When I'm alone things just seem so much worse. :(

Interested said...

I don't know what I am doing either. It's all a blur.

Anonymous said...

If I had a brain it might work sometimes. I swear I have been on overload myself. So I understand how you must feel. When you find the switch to get back on track. Please let me know.
Roz

Anonymous said...

Awww...Scribs I'm sorry. Lonliness sucks. Even those of us who are NOT alone at home are lonely. I think I'd rather be alone...

Gill

lowandslow said...

I wish I could tell you how to reset those circuit breakers, but I don't have a license for that.