...full of the same old stuff.
I wrote, finishing the article I spent last Wednesday "researching." It was basically finished on Friday, but when I read it again I saw that I had left out some vital information. To plug in the missing bits took more than adding a couple of paragraphs; my "style" is one of connected paragraphs, so any late additions meant doing some serious rewriting.
When I wasn't doing that, I spent some time stitching together tracks from my new pile of CDs so I can burn copies for a couple of friends tomorrow. The program I use allows a lot of tweaking of the sound, but for now I'm just copying them largely as-is until I'm confident with all the doo-dads.
It's a lot different than the audio tools I grew up with, which included a 10-band equalizer and audiotape splicing block. My reflexes aren't yet attuned to using a mouse when I once would have used a grease pencil (to mark the place where the edit went), razor blade and splicing tape.
The weather has turned cold, and there is apparently a threat of rain late tonight. Less than an hour ago, I turned on the heater for the first time this year. When I go to bed, I'll shut it off and open the windows again, because I don't like closed-up rooms. Go figure.
Somehow, I've managed to avoid feeling too much depression today. That doesn't make sense; the causes are still there. All of them. I find the ability to not look at reality a little troubling; the work hassles, shortage of money and total lack of affection will not resolve themselves.
It'd be damn nice if they would. But I don't have any faith at in the people who are responsible, so leaving it up them is not an option.
And now? I'll pop a couple of CDs in the player and listen while I try to finish another story I should send out tomorrow.
I sometimes think this may be the root of my problems: I keep working, even when the editors/publishers aren't holding up their end of the bargain. I continue to miss, have an interest in, care about the welfare of, people who no longer give a damn about me. If they ever did.
It's all inertia. Without lubrication, the machine that is me will stop working eventually.
Sure hope it rains.
A QUICK PARENTHETICAL UPDATE JUST IN CASE ANYONE GIVES A RAT'S POSTERIOR ABOUT IT: As of two minutes ago, I finished the second damn article I wanted to finish.
8 hours ago