One forgets at one's own peril how fragile moments of happiness are.
As Emperor Hirohito said to the Japanese people in August, 1945, "the...situation has developed not necessarily to [our] advantage." That was how he introduced the unthinkable -- surrender -- to his people.
Right now, I can say my personal situation has developed not necessarily to my advantage.
I have to tell you that this journal will be taking something of a leave of absence for a while. I can't predict the length of the hiatus. Days, certainly; perhaps weeks or even months. Or more.
When and if I write here again, the words will pick up as if nothing has happened, as if there has been no blank space in between. There are things about which I cannot and will not write -- or speak about to anyone, for that matter -- if I am to be true to my beliefs, and what happened not long after I completed my last entry (and has not yet been fully resolved in my mind) is one of those things.
I write this without anger toward anyone. Be very clear on that. Do not think I have been brought to this point by the misdeeds of others, or by my own failings. There is no "wrong" involved. It is much simpler, and much more complicated, than that.
Simply put, dealing with the turmoil inside and basic needs of survival are going to be as much as I can handle for a while.
I would be grateful if those of you who are so inclined would send up a prayer or two for me in the days ahead. Mine, at least those I offer on my own behalf, seem not to have any good effect, and it is clear to me that I am going to need all the help I can get.
2 hours ago