Thursday, April 20, 2006

The final chapter.

Thank you, one and all, for the kind comments and messages....

And "thank-you" for the communications that were critical of me, too. I may not agree, but I do try to understand what was said....

16 comments:

Obi Asad said...

Whatever it is you are going through, know that you have my prayers with you. Be patient through your trials, and God will reward you Insha'Allah.

Birdie said...

this is not you... the Scribby I know wouldn't give up. I know many of your trials and tribulations.... I don't know the final details. I met you, and if many circumstances had been different, maybe there would have even been a chance for us.... but it wasn't to be... there wasn't time for us to get to know each other. Remember that stupid flu you had? I so wanted you to show me the sunken city... and to go with you to Disneyland... with YOU it would have been lots of fun! But instead you got that flu... it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't YOUR fault!
I feared for a while that I was the damsel causing your added stress... but too many hints pointed a different way... and I think I know who, but I'm not sure. I'm relieved it wasn't me... I couldn't have been happy knowing I had caused you so much pain.... you deserve happiness, not pain!!
I want to continue reading your words.... don't delete it all! Just leave it, always there/here for you to return to....
Sorry for the length of this comment... but I HAD to express myself... though it's hard to find the words....
YOU know who I am.... and in me you still have a friend!! you know that!!

"Birdie"

MrScribbler said...

Birdie -- I never thought I would give up either. I was so certain that, no matter what, I would find a way to get where I wanted to be no matter how high the obstacles.

I was wrong.

Everyone has a place in their soul that is most vulnerable. When we love, we expose that place and entrust it to someone else's care. I did that. I'm paying for it.

Justfly said...

I am sorry that you are feeling this way.
I really would be sad not to have your words to read anymore.
Please don't leave...

Whatsername said...

I will be here if you need me, don't forget that.

MrScribbler said...

justfly -- I don't want to leave...I just don't know what the hell to do.

I'm in an unfamiliar situation. I don't know how to cope.

MrScribbler said...

I love you, whatser.

fin said...

From a psychological standpoint, simply ignoring your journals for awhile would do you a lot more good than deleting them. To me you are young and have time (let us hope) and time DOES heal. It has healed more broken hearts than yours, including mine once or twice.

Your remark that critics have support systems ignores the fact that often those people reach out for help when they need it, to NA or AA or a church support group. Yes, some lucky ones have families or significant others, but not all do.

Three or four times I have offered to chat with you the phone for company or just to vent, and you have never ever responded positively. It led me to believe, perhaps erroneously, that you actually, in some way, enjoy the situation that you are in, and the responses you get on JS from publically flaunting your misery.

As you probably know if you look at your readers, I have been a regular reader of yours long after I dropped you from my favorites list, and I have often enjoyed what you wrote and sometimes been moved to comment, sometimes positively.

Deleting your journals however, is an irreversable step and one that I KNOW several other JSers have sincerely regretted afterwards. My deep feeling is that it is about the worst thing you could possibly do FOR YOURSELF.

Justfly said...

Well then keep writing, or take a break from writing.
Unfamiliar ground is not always a welcome, but we can help you get through it. The human brain does somehow learn to cope. Sometimes it takes awhile to kick in.
No reason to leave us.
We are the good guys here =)

I have always said, that if I was ever alone I would spend time volunteering. Whether it be a soup kitchen, children's center, shelter, etc. I think working in those places, helping people, makes oneself feel important, whole.

Take care...

We will still be here. Heck, we are addicts. I would love to leave here too...delete, be gone. However, my addiction will not allow it.

Kim said...

Oh Scrib. I feel the deepest of sympathies for you. Sometimes life is too much to bear. Many of us have been there, for various reasons.

I would give you a hug if I could. I hope the future only holds good things for you. You are your own anchor. Remember that. You know where I am if you need a chat. PM my journalspace account. Hugs Kim

HarpO'Fly said...

WTF
Email me whether you want to or not.
You know all the many ways.
try bluesharp@snakedocs. com for one.

HarpO'Fly said...

Scrib, some people truly can not help their actions, no matter how obvious the inconsiderate nature. They are in bigger trouble because they don't know how to do otherwise. The results are disastrous, cruel, and beyond painful. It can make you think the whole thing is a waste. Maybe it is, but that doesn't help those who are so confused and confliccted that they can't accept or give in any deep way. And they are totally unable to really look at the consequences of their behavior. To them, that is the worst possible nightmare---to face themselves. Too bad they don't see that it is tyhe road to peace.

keepingintouch said...

I'm glad to see the supportive comments here. I'm very worried about you. Please PM me if you want to talk. Your plan to only look forward a few hours at a time is a good one, but the best thing is to let your friends and people that care about you help. We do care, and we do want to help.

HarpO'Fly said...

Listen here, Mofo. I know where you live. Dammit.
send me a message. sunsharp@mindspring.com
That is an imperative suggestion, not a normal one.

netmale said...

Scribbs, I hope that you have been in contact with some of the many friends you have. Don't leave, don't delete.

MrScribbler said...

Thank you all. HarpO, message sent....