Saturday, April 29, 2006

53 hours...

...from now, I'll be settling into an airplane seat and the flight attendant will offer a choice of orange juice or champagne as a pre-flight "refreshment."

I'll take the champagne. Two helpings, if I can get away with it.

So far, I'm ahead of my self-imposed schedule for getting ready. All that remains on the list is apartment-cleaning. I'll try to do that today so tomorrow is free for any last-minute disasters. Or maybe just relaxation, but if the past is any guide, it'll be the former and not the latter.

Getting to this point has not been fun.

But I'm not going to whine. I'm not.

All I will say is that the trip -- six days in Germany -- may well turn out to be, as a friend said, a visit to a DMZ (demilitarized zone, for those of you not familiar with diplo/military-speak), a break in the long, long parade of unhappy events that have plagued me recently.

I hope so.

I have to take me along, though, and that means I won't be able to avoid thinking about, well, things while I'm many thousands of miles away.

Knowing me, I expect my mind will look for solace in unrealistic fantasies while I'm there. I'll let myself believe in miracles, imagine that upon my return I'll be greeted by a welcome change or two in my situation.

PARENTHETICAL THOUGHT: All I really need are two changes and neither seems too much to ask. At least to me. The rest I can, and will, do myself.

SUB-PARENTHETICAL FOOTNOTE-TYPE AFTERTHOUGHT: One change would do, really. I'm not greedy. A single change-for-the-better in a single area of my life would have so far-reaching an effect that I'd welcome the challenge of dealing with the rest....

The seeds of such changes were planted, long ago, and I've nurtured them as well as I could.

Right now, though, sitting in familiar surroundings and constantly faced with small reminders of what isn't right with my world, I can be a realist and know that what ought to be and what is are far from the same.

I have much more to say, but I'm getting more depressed with every word I type.

And there's work still to be done before I can sit down in that airplane seat.

If only other things in life could be as simple as cleaning a kitchen!


nuttyman said...

Kitchen cleaning simple? You haven't seen the kitchen fact, I haven't seen it either, in a while...

While in Germany, do as the Germans do: drive balls to the wall, drink lots of bier, and wear a pair of those sexy leggings.

MrScribbler said...

It's a small kitchen, nutty!

All the things you mention are on the itinerary...except the lederhosen, which seems a good thing to me....

HarpO'Fly said...

You are riding in the better class of travel? Not the cattle herded scrunched criminally conceived seats? Poor you!! Just goes to show, even the other half get no solace for the soul sometimes.

MrScribbler said...

harpo'fly -- if I was payin', I'd be back in the cheap seats, you can bet!

It's Business and not First Class,'s been a while since I've enjoyed First Class treatment. Even on airplanes.

bb said...

Hope you have a great trip, MS. Enjoy yourself, heck, maybe you'll stumble upon "someone" over there, never know!