...So I have heard from many, many good people in the last hours and, taking what they have said to heart, will not be deleting my journals. Not this one, not that one.
I can't guarantee that I'll write in either one for a while. Conversely, I can't guarantee I won't.
It will be necessary for me to be very careful if I do write anything. This situation is fraught with peril for me; anything I say about my feelings might possibly be misinterpreted or, perhaps, not fully understood. That has already happened, and I do not want it to happen ever again.
The danger of revealing angst in a journal is that doing so will hurt someone else. I don't want to feel the pain I now feel, but I also do not want anyone else to hurt, whether because of me or for any other reason.
That danger, let it be said, comes from me. My instant reactions are not always what they should be. Until I can exercise more control over that, I feel I'm doing myself a favor by staying silent.
I may seem an insensitive shit, but that really isn't so.
So I will refrain from writing about anything in my personal life that is hurting me. Feel free to kick me sharply in the ass if I slip and let anything out.
Thank you all for the comments. They have helped, do help. I am more grateful to all of you than you can know.
1 day ago