So you want bad poetry, eh?

At least Missi does, and suggested I write some kind of awful verse based on seeing-eye ducks and ex-girlfriends.

It just so happens, dear, that poetry of the absolute worst quality is one of my fields of expertise. Few can compare to me when it comes to ugly rhymes, pitiful scanning and a total lack of rhythm in verse.

And so, with apologies to damn near everyone, here is my ode to guide-ducks and former lovers....

Consider the plight of the seeing-eye duck
as winged critters go he's a bird with no luck
plunged rudely into blind humans' strife
forced to surrender his fine duckish life

With a little more training these mallards might be
a help to those not blind, but unable to see
we can navigate curbs but fall down right quick
when faced with the travails of pleasing a chick

How I wish I'd been pulled away by little webbed feet
when I encountered a female who came off as sweet
I happily let her entwine me with tethers
but she cut me loose to chase fancier feathers

Poor liitle duckie, how sad you must be
I'd love to make you happy by setting you free
so you could waddle off to the nearest duck-pond
and I'd go along, too, to stay clear of the blonde.

I warned you it'd be horrific....