Saturday, February 09, 2008

Not a good day...

...as I'm sitting here with an incomplete article I wanted to send off. I need to do an interview to finish it properly, and after spending a considerable amount of time hunting down the individual involved, I still haven't been able to make direct contact with him. There's no reason I know of or him not to talk, but he's staying incommunicado. And without his comments, the story will be far less than it should be.

After finally giving up on work for the day -- a decision that panics me, as I have to keep working lest the vultures get me -- I went for a walk, and then went up to the roof, where the landlord has grudgingly provided a fenced-off area where we can sit and gaze at the scenery.

It was an unusually warm day for this time of year, though plenty breezy.

And the "deck" gives an unusual point of view: it's strange to look down at seagulls sitting on telephone poles...



One of my neighbors decided to fly a kite from the roof...



...and it worked out pretty well...



But the people hanging up there know me fairly well, and could sense, as they have for some time, that all is far from well with me. One was especially curious, but I had to hold back, since part of my problem -- aside from work, which has become hellish -- involves an individual all of them know. What I know about this person (and it brings me sorrow to know it) is none of their business.

Even when I have people around me, I am alone.

And, in all honesty, I don't know how long I can survive in that situation.

When I need a support and sympathy (and encouragement) more than anything else, I am defeated by my code of honor.

I'd say it's not fair, but I no longer have any concept of what "fair" means.

And I am positive it does not apply to me.

Doesn't leave me much to hold on to, Jim.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I liked your photos. I miss the sun. I assume no drinking is allowed on the roof!! LOL. Smile, it breeds more smiles. LL

John said...

That is a fantastic view. Warm sunshine feels good. I want some.
A good case of partial amnesia would do wonders from the sound of things.
Another of my pipe dreams.

DAL said...

Warm day, pretty pictures, but it would be nice if you had some local real life friends you can talk to. I ain't sayin' find some, I'm jus' sayin'.

Ptolemy said...

I can sure relate to being THAT angry, these days. Today I actually took a step though to extricate myself from some ugliness that previously I thought I had to tolerate. But today it became too much and now I'm done with at least part of it... And I've made a phone call to get rid of another part of it... And so it IS possible to get out.

joan said...

I didn't realize you lived right on the water. What a view.