Damned if I know.
What I do know is that I am having more and more trouble writing about what goes on my tiny slice of space on the planet.
It keeps on getting worse, Jim.
And going into gory detail about it is not only impossible, but unrewarding.
Just as my efforts to reverse the ugly trends of recent months and years have not borne fruit.
Two people kept me from going completely off the rails today. One is my musician buddy R., who called today and reminded me that some people -- if you count him as "some people" -- think I have some value.
He has no idea of the magnitude of the train-wreck my life has become. He simply likes me, and respects me.
Another is, well, someone I won't gush about too much, as I know she sometimes drops by to read what I have to say. And I think she knows how I feel about her, anyway.
Okay, so neither one of them can show me the way to increasing my supply of either sex or money -- the two commodities totally missing from my life -- but that doesn't matter. They are, whether they know it or not (and they don't), simply keeping me going a bit longer than I would without them.
I owe both of them for that.
And if I can navigate my way out of the shit-storm, I'll certainly do what I can to make their lives happier. Even if it's simple encouragement and appreciation. They have that already, but I'd like to make a wish or two come true for them.
One or two people beyond R. and Ms. X have done their bit to keep me functional, too. I am more than grateful.
For their sakes, I hope I can get past the vampires clamoring for my blood.
But I'm not sure how many rabbits I can pull out of my hat. The magic act may be over.
I owe a great debt to R., J., K., and K. And I do not forget.
If I get through the next few days, the next few weeks, I'll make sure they know it.
15 hours ago