Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I was going to post a "humorous" picture...

...but when it came right down to it, I was too bummed out to do it. Besides, why put up a pic of my ugly mug to remind the Women of America what they have escaped?

Yes, there was one lighthearted moment this afternoon. Wasn't enough to dispel the gloom.

If anything makes my current situation worse than it otherwise might be -- apparently, the universe thinks hassling about money, work and loneliness isn't enough -- the impending holiday season is throwing in an extra load of pain.

I grew up watching all those old black-and-white "holiday" movies from the 30s and 40s, and unfortunately fell under their spell to an extent. You know the stuff...curling up by the fire with my Love after a long tramp through the snow, Bing Crosby dropping by with a thermos full of hot eggnog (spiked), gathering at the local Inn to sing holiday songs with friends and hordes of kids (some mine), overdosing on turkey, cable-knit sweaters and tartan scarves...all that crap.

Each year that Thanksgiving and Christmas passed and I never hit that paradise, I thought it might come the next year. I knew it wasn't going to happen with my dysfunctional family, but when I fled the nest I thought I'd get there.

And I never have.

And I never will.

The vision has changed, you know. After all, Bing Crosby is dead. And the love has changed, too, from brunette to blonde and now to, well, something else to be determined.

Okay, enough of that. It bugs me.

But what doesn't, these days?

Besides, I'll be working on Thanksgiving. Probably on Christmas, too. If the crap hasn't totally hit the fan by then, that is.

One thing I will not be doing is watching "It's a Wonderful Life."

If I jump off a bridge, my guardian angel will surely be down at The Spot downing a brewski or two when it happens, Jim.


John said...

I liked Bing at the holidays, Fred Astaire too.

John said...

Dead? Bing? Never!! Life doesn't always work like the holiday flicks but it is nice to think it may for someone. I don't know how to put a spin on alone at the holidays that works for anyone else. Last few years I had a place to go at Christmas, but many of the years prior it was just me, or me and some woman that always picked a fight. Last one was because I got her present.