Who am I kidding?

I've been trying to amuse myself with the recent photo posts, trying to forget that I have been fighting a pervasive and paralyzing depression for the better part of six months.

It hasn't worked.

I have spent most of today fighting the demons. They are winning.

Don't bother reminding me some people have it much worse. I know that, and I ache for them. It frustrates me that I can't help make their lives better, help free them of the problems both mental and physical that are making their lives unhappy right now.

Even so, I cannot escape my own dark thoughts and my own pain.

Less than a half-year ago, I loved and trusted, was optimistic about the future, was eager to do battle with anything that stood in the way of my goals and desires. Amazing what having someone love you and promise you joyous -- if sometimes difficult -- days ahead can do.

How things change....

I still love. But I might as well not bother. The rest is gone.