It's Saturday night...

...and I have been reminded of reason #2,797 why I'm scuffling for coin and not idly rich....

Dig this idea: fence off part of a public park, and charge people five scoots to go through the gate. When they get in, they can buy food cooked in mobile kitchens from numerous local eateries. What's more, they can pay more for the (more-or-less) same items they'd get at those restaurants. They're also able to buy beer and soft drinks for three times what they'd cost at the neighborhood market.

As a bonus, they can actually see, right there on two city-owned portable stages, the same local three-chord rock bands and semi-talented "ethnic" musical groups I can hear quite clearly three-eighths of a mile away.

Zowie.

Though it sounds totally wacked-out as a concept, there are thousands of people doing just that, and more will show up tomorrow.

It was pointed out to me by a neighbor that the take from this scene goes to some local charity. I know how that works: the income from the gate plus charges levied on the concessionaires for letting them have space (and, probably a slice of their sales) all goes into a pile. Hands reach in to pull out "expenses" and "overhead." Surely a little taste goes to the local politicos for their "cooperation."

Leftovers go to the Sunny Glades Home For The Distracted. Or some outfit like it.

I once had a furtive peek at the P&L statement for a large "charitable" event. Total income ran well into seven figures. The charity received a sum in the low five figures. Damn low.

I never come up with brainwaves like this. Put together charity gigs and you can just about print your own money. So to speak.

You can even get people to give you money for the chance to overpay for food.

I'm thinking about it. But I'm going to go straight for the jugular: I'll get my brother Harp O'Fly to put together a good band, and I'll bring in In-N-Out Burger's mobile unit for the best burgers, fries and shakes on the planet.

My fortune is made.

All I need is a piece of no-rent land in a good location.

Know any charity that would like a few bucks from the gig after "expenses" and "overhead"?