...and the ride never seems to get less bumpy.
Friday and early Saturday were the low points. With the help of a friend, I hatched plans that might get things straightened out, and felt better.
This morning, one major element of those plans was torpedoed. It's not gone permanently (at least not at the moment), but is delayed enough that it is far less useful. And any further delay will take it out of the picture. It was central to getting things done the way I thought I might.
As always, I am at the total mercy of other people. And I don't much like that.
I could rant about that, but what's the use?
Now, I have to come up with Plan "C," as Plans "A" and "B" have now failed miserably.
The pressure on my head is almost physical now. And each new idea seems built more on panic than actual forward thinking. When, that is, I can actually string enough thoughts together to come up with anything. Every element of my situation is banging around in the gray mush, never fitting into any logical order.
Should I take this as an indication that I am supposed to fail?
It feels like that right now.
And figuring out a way to cope feels more and more like an impossibility.
4 hours ago