Tuesday, August 12, 2008


...is the only word I can use, the only word that fits.

To know, as so many of you are once again showing, that there is love and hope in the world, and some of it is reserved for me, is both a positive and sorrowful experience for me.

Positive is easy to explain. I have fallen, and badly, and a multitude of hands have reached out to me.

Sorrowful because I cannot help but feel a failure. My own mistakes -- and there have been many -- poke at me like red-hot wires. Granted, it couldn't have managed to fall so far without the neglect, lack of honor and sometimes outright enmity of others, but at times like this I am acutely conscious of having just plain screwed up.

So many have rushed to my side. One ran away, and that is cause for sorrow too, though I cannot blame that person, who is undergoing severe trials right now as well.

At the order suggestion of a friend, I put up a PayPal account for those who have offered help. The button doesn't work -- I did something wrong -- and I'm tired tonight. Will try to straighten it out in the morning.

PARENTHETICAL I-TAKE-GOOD-ADVICE UPDATE: The "donation" link over in the right-hand column is fixed. Though it no longer says so, it goes through PayPal. Thanks, Wizardress!

To those who are trying to cheer me up and deliver encouragement, I say: it's working.


Wizardress said...

I'd be happy to help you get the link working if you need help.

If you go into merchant services (once you log into your account) and then click on the left column where it says website payments standard. You'll see where it shows payment buttons you can add. If you click the one that says donate, it should take you to another page that says donate button code or something to that effect, and ifyou click it, you can set up the code.

**hugs* Hope that helps.

Wizardress said...

Oh, and you are far from a failure. Keep trying my friend. Things will come together.


Anonymous said...

It is going to work out, just maybe not exactly as you may think but better...smiles!

Get that link up so the rest of us can direct your JS family to you.

Still praying for you and this unfortunate event...we all are there sometime in our life. Lou

Anonymous said...

As you've learned many people really do care for you. Push forward. :)


Anonymous said...

You are loved! We all believe in you. Summerwind

Birdie said...

We all make mistakes, I know I have made my share. A situation like yours kills all motivation, which only makes matters worse.

Take another deep breath, give yourself one more HUGE kick in the you-know-what, and try to think positive. Feed on all the positive vibes coming to you from around the world.


Wizardress said...

I'm glad that the link is working now, and hope that today is also bringing good things your way.

You are in my continued prayers. *hugs*

Ben said...

Agreeing with everything everyone else said and adding this: The Vultures are NOT going to win!

Japee said...

It's good to have a Wizardress on your side :)