I will not...

...lose my mind tonight. I will not be like the guy in my neighborhood who goes for midday walks in his pajamas. I will not become what my brother calls a Gimme Dollar Man.

I. Will. Not.

But I've had plenty of provocation. Hassles over work, finding out that the streets around here will again be no-parking zones (for four days) for the benefit of a motion-picture production company....

PARENTHETICAL THOUGHT: I bet those pesky movie-makers, who are given all the access they want around here, never film near our City Councilboob's house. She never has parking and noise problems with them; nor do they tell her to stay off the sidewalks or get the hell out of their shot. She probably gets a cut of the permit fees. She may be incompetent when it comes to her constituents, but she seems to have an unerring instinct for raking in publicity and money....

Oh, there's more. A package I'm expecting, checks I'm expecting, stuff like that. Stuff that never seems to show up when promised.

And I have to do jury duty next month.

In fact, instead of going on and on and on about the usual run of garbage that's upsetting me -- which, after all, differs mainly in detail from virtually every other day for the past six months and includes some endless misery I don't feel like writing about -- I think I'll go fix myself something to eat.

A nice salad.

A nice spinach salad.

I'll garnish it with some nice mercury-laced tuna.

Bon appetit, pal.