..."There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
I've been fooled. Oh boy, have I been fooled. And I'm not even as incoherent as ol' GWB. I think things through, and am very deliberate when I finally make decisions.
Even so, I was fooled.
I believed what someone told me. I believed the someone in question loved me, as she said she did. I dared to imagine a future -- with her encouragement and agreement -- in which I would make that someone happy by giving her the love and respect she had been missing.
Was I ever wrong, Jim.
She didn't want respect. She wanted something far different, which she found elsewhere.
Sure, I'm positive he claims to respect her. All men -- including me -- have claimed to respect a woman who lets us get some. That's a male thing, though some of us outgrow it.
The sad thing is that I really did respect her.
No longer.
I admit I would say anything to get into a girl's knickers. When I was 15, that is. It worked on 15 year-old chicks.
Now, I have this foolish romantic notion that a promise is a promise, that a declaration of wanting to spend the rest of your life with another actually means something.
I mean, this was a (supposedly) adult woman.
Was I ever wrong in this instance.
I won't "get fooled again."
4 hours ago
12 comments:
Wow. You really did THAT?? Which leads into a familiar issue, to wit, is why is it ok a guy screws 10 chics a year [extreme and extremely lucky :P] but if it is the chic who has bagged the 10 she's a whore? I would think she was a whore and not worthy of respect at all, since she doesn't respect herself. But then again, can't the same be true of the guy?
Life is WEIRD!
Before I go, the letters I had to type for this comment to show were "jmjwnd." Reminded of WWJD, lol.
Int -- I left the screw-'em-all thing behind many, many years ago.
I wanted one, and one only. That's been my feeling for at least 30 years.
It's not right for women or men to screw around. At some point, you have to grow up and live up to your commitments.
(You were lucky...I have qzuyjtuc.)
You are the one that said, "it worked on 15 year olds" that was part of why I said what I said.
Plus, it was the late afternoon topic of sorts on the radio station. A 23 year old female sent in an email saying she had been with 10 guys and her current bf has only slept with 3. He's upset about it and she was asking if 10 was too many.
Btw, I had to live up to my commitments. Pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. I was still able to go back for my last year of hs, go to college and get a bachelor's - all the while being supermon:)
Int -- I also said "when I was 15."
I never cared, and still don't, how many partners someone had before they met me.
I only care about living up to your words, and being faithful when you make a commitment.
I think it all boils down to integrity. What's the pint of saying you love someone if your actions don't support it? I don't blame you for losing respect.
Not all women are that way - there are good ones left!
kathy -- my problem is that it will be that much more difficult for me to believe a "good woman" if/when I ever meet one.
It's the worst thing about relationships...one bad apple can spoil the whole crop.
I had no such luck at 15. I couldn't lie so I didn't do well until later.
When reality doesn't lend credence to various declartions of love and vows of loyalty, it may be time to exit. I didn't. And the consequences suck.
So, like you, I'm the bad guy, the problem. There is no vindication, only, with a great deal of luck, life after.
It certainly fuels ever growing anger like crazy. No one likes being played. Especially when it has changed one's life path.
HarpO -- The sad part is that the falsity of the declarations was so well conceled under a veneer of sincerity. It was furthered by the obvious admiration others display toward her; after all, if everyone loves this person, and she loves me, how could I go wrong?
Nonetheless, you're right. We're the "bad guys," and those tarring us with the brush of inadequacy seem to thrive. For now, anyway.
On the contrary - I have found that each time I went through a bad time with men, I learned something. Like not to ignore those initial red flags! That's part of the reason why I held out such high hopes for Bill - I KNEW he was a good one, because he was so different than the others.
I think it's especially hard to take when you're ready for a committed relationship. I think you've been ready for awhile. It'll happen.
kathy -- Everyone has red flags. You, me, everyone. So many things that can be ignored, misunderstood or correctly interpreted. I saw some, and I'm sure she did too.
Part of loving is forgiving and forgetting those red flags that don't really add up to much. Sometimes, they get mixed up with the serious ones, and you don't know which is which until it's too late.
I'm tired of having to deal with the lessons without ever seeing the benefits. It's hard as hell to hope.
I'm sorry that you are still hurting, but I do believe that all things happen for a reason. There is another person out there for you, even though I know you thought this one was it. I know it is easier said than done, but try to allow yourself to heal, and let go. It WILL get better. Hang in there.
It is hard as hell to hope - I agree with you there.
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