Saturday, March 08, 2008

It's no coincidence...

...that the first three letters of the word "diet" are d, i and e. I mean, I've had doctors tell me to make changes in my ingestive habits before, but since there really seemed no downside to continuing in my evil ways my efforts to obey were, at best, desultory.

It's different this time.

While not given an actual list of things to delete from my eating and other habits, enough was said to make things pretty clear. No cigarettes, no alcohol (or, at best very moderate consumption), minimal salt, minimal fat, bleep-de-bleep bloop-de-bloop.

I'm gonna be one a them new-age yuppies eating rabbit food and paying double for "organic" fruits and vegetables that look like rejects from factory-farm output.

The change has begun with breakfast, once an irregular but hefty meal for me. The Old Me would have enjoyed (emphasis on the word "enjoy!") a big, gooey cheese, avocado, bacon omelet at a local restaurant. With home fries or hash browns on the side. And an English muffin. This morning? "Woven multigrain" cereal, dusted with organic brown sugar and soaked in 2% milk.

I allowed myself a cup of coffee, though. Cuban espresso roast. It's impossible to abandon every last addiction.

I've been eating very lightly (for me) and remarkably well, a process that began with paying attention to those "nutrition information" panels on various food products. Not knowing what I'm doing, I simply avoid stuff that has noticeable quantities of nastiness (sodium, fats, etc.) and trust to luck.

The good news is that I've always liked so-called "natural" foods, though my mother was a lousy cook and stuff with more additives and unnatural flavors tended to taste better.

The bad news is I also like crap foods. So far, the no-smoking thing has been easier than expected, but I'm jonesing for Mexican food and that wonderful greasy, MSG-laden Chinese takeaway. The wrapper for an In-n-Out Burger would probably undo all the health gains I've made since coming home.

The best news is that while I graze through all my new, healthier food, my diet is getting a wonderful supplement in the form of a friend's decision to treat me to some of her cooking while I recover from all the hospital crap and get re-oriented. She's been into this good-eating stuff for a long time, so I know all the veggies in her dishes were slaughtered humanely, and all cows had their meditation and yoga classes before joining the food chain.

Ah, God, such delicious meals!

I have lost considerable weight in the last nine days -- not eating for five days will do that, especially when followed by hospital food of stereotypical awfulness -- and that has made me feel better. I don't know how much good quitting smoking has done -- no lectures, please; I'm talking real results, not that smug "doing what's best for me" bilge -- but muscles that have less lard to carry around seem happier.

Would I give up all this better-living stuff, the increased health, weight-loss and other benefits for a gooey omelet or even a handful of Chee-Tos? Damn skippy I would, buckaroos.

Oh well. Breakfast is over, and I can plan my midday feast. Probably tandoori bread spread with vegetarian hummus, with a cup of green tea to wash it down.

And all I can think of are the words of the immortal Redd Foxx:

"I know some of you don't smoke, don't drink, don't eat pork...'cause you wanna live. You gonna feel like a damn fool lyin' there in the hospital dyin' from nothin'."

There's a part of me that agrees with him completely, even now. And all of me laughs.


Kelly said...

Scott always says green tea tastes like dirty socks....I have always wondered when he tasted a dirty sock...

MrScribbler said...

Kelly -- Tell him green tea from the 99-Cent Store tastes like cheap dirty socks!

emd said...

Welcome to the club!

Girl and Lucy said...

Jazz up your food with Penzeys Spices.....

The store is an explosion for the visual and olfactory senses. All the spices are categorized by name and beautifully arranged on cedar shelves, with descriptions, multiple bottle and package sizes, and even recipes for some. Most of them are accompanied by a jar of loose spices, so you can smell and even taste if you so desire.

The store is conveniently arranged by cooking needs, so there is a general section, plus sections for baking, chilies, peppers, salts, seasonings, etc. The prices really can't be beat - most of them are about half the price one would normally expect to pay in the grocery store, plus the spices are extremely high quality and fresh.

The Penzeys staff are knowledgable and helpful, too. It's definitely worth a trip, even if just for the experience of being able to smell before you buy.

MrScribbler said...

G & L -- I'm supposed to take cooking/spice advice from a pair of spoiled, filtered-water-drinkin', organic-food-eatin' kittycats?

I'm guessing you got some suggestions from Mum on this....

Anonymous said...

The jokes about this are legion and often funny..."you'll live an extra ten years, but why would you WANT to" etc.

Luckily, I did these things in stages, first booze, then years later cigs and still more years later the thousand calorie a day thing which pretty well persists to this day.

IMO, overall, in the last analysis, when all is said and done, in the larger picture, all things considered, given this and that --- it seems to be a good thing. Mostly. [Tip of the hat to Yes Minister]


Birdie said...

Quote: "and all cows had their meditation and yoga classes before joining the food chain."

I loved that!

corn pie said...

That omelette sounds absolutely nasty and like a death sentence. I like the new breakfast! I have that too.

Anonymous said...

rabbit food has more benefits than they tell you about at the office.
You get used to it and you'll be flying high.
Nothing beats uncooked or undercooked humanely slaughtered fruits and vegetables and leafy things.

Getting a jump start is great. I'm inspired now.
hiding J

John0 said...

As a matter of fact, you have no idea how happy it makes me to see and hear this. Don't know why.
Positive change and makes me want to think about it. Plus you can't beat that kind of food. Well for me. It's my favorite.
still hiding

Anonymous said...

Geez, you sound like Kelly. "If it tastes good, spit it out." She's filled our refrigerator up with stuff I never knew existed. If this new regimen works for you, I'm happy for ya. My philosophy is similar to 'ol Redd's: "Live right, don't smoke, don't drink, eat well, exercise, die anyway." (Actually, I don't smoke, don't drink too much at all, eat reasonably, spotty on the exercise.) Glad to hear you're doing better.


Anonymous said...

Quote: "and all cows had their meditation and yoga classes before joining the food chain."