Okay, so part of it is entirely my fault. I can never bring myself to say "(bleep) you, I'm not going to do it" when anyone, be they client, friend or lover, expects me to go way the hell out of my way for them based on vague promises (or, in the case of one former lover and one former client, very explicit promises) that I'm going to get something in return. Nor can I bring myself to turn my back on those people as easily as they turn their backs on me.
Yesterday was just another example. And I am expected to do the same again, today and on Thursday, with even less in it for me.
There is something wrong with me. Maybe it's genetic, or something taught one day when I wasn't in school. I can't seem to question anyone, or make any attempt to stand up for my rights and collect what is owed to me, without coming off like a real jerk. When an editor, or a friend (even a casual friend) or **** says "I don't want to do what I promised" that's perfectly fine. It's their right by God, and who am I to find fault with them?
When I do that, I am Mr Evil, a heartless creep.
Except that I don't do that very often. Usually, as was the case yesterday, I just go along with the program, smile real big, and give more than I can afford, more than is good for me, more than I will get in return. Sometimes, "thank you" isn't enough. Tangible payment is required.
Just call me Mr Doormat.
No. Today, call me Mr Angry Doormat.
10 comments:
Sorry my friend, but you ARE a doormat to some people. By all means, help a friend. But at somepoint it should become obvious THEY are not YOUR friend. If they were, they wouldn't treat you like they do, wouldn't put you in the straights they do. At some point you must realize who is a true friend and who is just using you. May I suggest you politely tell someone (a client for instance) that you would love to take on another job for them, but as you haven't been paid for the previous one(s) yet, and as you DO have expenses, you are now forced to invest your time where it will bring a return on your creative investment. "I hope you can appreciate my position." They'll ride you for as long as they can if you'll let them. Sadly, that's the way business runs today. If you lose their work, what have you really lost? I think they'll have a new sense of respect for you. But of course, you're a big boy, and old habits don't die easily , and you ARE a good guy...so you do what you're comfortable with. Sorry to get preachy. It just bugs me when a friend get dumped on. :)
I kinda got that backwards, Scribbs. "If YOU were THEIR friend"...is what I meant to say. Friendship is a 2-way street. Many of yours seem to be only one way.
I agree with Scott..all the way. Especially the part about you being a good guy. :)
I 'll give you a hug and say...PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!!
I agree with everyone else! stop letting them walk all over you! your are too GOOD for them! geeeez.... gets my feathers up... tweet tweet
Maybe you feel like you come off as a jerk more than you really do.
I say give the Mr Evil technique a chance when called for. What's to lose?
I'm right there with you, Scribs.
Gill
A few weeks ago my identity was already pre-filled when I was going to leave a comment, and now it's gone :(
Anyway, I find myself saying 'no' these days, but still feeling really guilty. I dunno which is work - the anger or the guilt.
errr....I mean "worse'.
Call your phone service provider, tell them you need to forward your calls to my number for a couple of weeks. As your agent, I'll be the one to say "(bleep) you", er, "I'm sorry, Mr Scribbler is attending clients who pay him."
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