Saturday, May 24, 2008

Just hangin' around...

...which seems to be the story of my life these days...

Didn't see the doctor on Friday. Not because I messed up -- though that wouldn't have been a surprise -- but entirely due to a secretary's screwup. Somehow, she didn't enter the appointment into the computer, and I was basically told I could wait (just in case someone else didn't show) or come back next Friday.

I'm going back next Friday.

I didn't sleep last night. Not a wink. I've spent today trying not to simply jack it in and head for bed. That's how I know it rained here...when daylight came, the pavement was wet, but the precipitation had stopped.

The back still hurts. Oh, boy, does it. Driving over a speed bump or raising my head too high makes me pine for assuming a fetal position. I could still use those warm female hands rubbing my back, but they're in short supply in my world....

I'm facing two choices right now: one is to lay a bitter political rant for y'all based on things I've been reading/hearing; the other, a heavy dose of Old-Fartism and dreary reminiscences inspired by a DVD a friend sent that I have been watching.

I've decided on neither for the moment, though if my insomnia extends into a second night, I may well change my mind.

Right now, I'd gleefully change places with any of about 2,794,860,321 people in the world, Jim.

And I'm fairly certain none of them would want to deal with my current levels of stress, loneliness or pain.

But enough of that. Tomorrow, as Scarlett O'Hara once said, is Another Day.

What the hell did she know about it?


Anonymous said...

The medical delivery system in this country these days is frequently simply abysmal.

It is one of the few situations for which I do not blame the incumbant administration.

Anonymous said...

Pour yourself a couple of stiff drinks. Maybe that will help. Or try these:

Each of the 38 remedies discovered by Dr Bach is directed at a particular characteristic or emotional state. To select the remedies you need you only need to think about the sort of person you are and the way you are feeling. Then you take the remedies you need.

Find out how to buy genuine Bach Flower Remedies -

Here is a list of the 38 remedies and their indications. For more information on the remedies and what they are for - and a colour painting of the remedy plant - click on the remedy you are interested in. Alternatively, you can read some case studies first to see how they work.

Agrimony - mental torture behind a cheerful face

Aspen - fear of unknown things

Beech - intolerance

Centaury - the inability to say 'no'

Cerato - lack of trust in one's own decisions

Cherry Plum - fear of the mind giving way

Chestnut Bud - failure to learn from mistakes

Chicory - selfish, possessive love

Clematis - dreaming of the future without working in the present

Crab Apple - the cleansing remedy, also for self-hatred

Elm - overwhelmed by responsibility

Gentian - discouragement after a setback

Gorse - hopelessness and despair

Heather - self-centredness and self-concern

Holly - hatred, envy and jealousy

Honeysuckle - living in the past

Hornbeam - procrastination, tiredness at the thought of doing something

Impatiens - impatience

Larch - lack of confidence

Mimulus - fear of known things

Mustard - deep gloom for no reason

Oak - the plodder who keeps going past the point of exhaustion

Olive - exhaustion following mental or physical effort

Pine - guilt

Red Chestnut - over-concern for the welfare of loved ones

Rock Rose - terror and fright

Rock Water - self-denial, rigidity and self-repression

Scleranthus - inability to choose between alternatives

Star of Bethlehem - shock

Sweet Chestnut - Extreme mental anguish, when everything has been tried and there is no light left

Vervain - over-enthusiasm

Vine - dominance and inflexibility

Walnut - protection from change and unwanted influences

Water Violet - pride and aloofness

White Chestnut - unwanted thoughts and mental arguments

Wild Oat - uncertainty over one's direction in life

Wild Rose - drifting, resignation, apathy

Willow - self-pity and resentment
There is also a combination remedy called Rescue Remedy.

Anonymous said...

Walnuts contain melatonin which helps to induce sleep. Eating a small handful of walnuts for dessert may well help people suffering from insomnia to get a good night’s sleep. The amount of melatonin produced by the body decreases after the age of 40, which may explain why sleep disorders increase as we get older. Eating a handful of walnuts triples the blood levels of melatonin.

Anonymous said...

I go to the Insomnia Help Center --

Tossing and turning all night? The clock is ticking over; minute after minute, hour after hour, but you just can't sleep. The only thing worse, is the feeling of being totally zonked the next day. Insomnia is a problem that affects most people at some time during their lives. It has many different causes and many different ways of being expressed. For some, it may be a case of a few restless nights or a lifetime of poor sleep. Sleep is an important part of our lives allowing us to regain strength, heal and grow. So when it is disturbed for any reason it can seriously affect our lives.

There is a large variation in the amount of sleep needed. Some only need a few hours sleep, while others may need up to 10 hours to feel refreshed. Insomnia is the condition where a person feels as if they are not getting adequate sleep on a regular basis. Their sleep is non-refreshing and their ability to function normally on a daily basis is affected.

Sleep patterns are different with different people, as too is the patterns for insomniacs. Some may fall asleep easily, but wake during the night and not be able to return to sleep. Others may lay awake for hours before being able to drift off to sleep. Some people wake hundreds of times during the night, without realising it. It has been found through electrical monitoring of insomniacs, while they sleep, that they don not change sleep stages very often. Normal sleep requires many stages and insomniacs may not reach the deep sleep known as 'REM'.

If you are suffering from sleep problems, it could be related to many different causes. A whole lifestyle check needs to be done. Are you eating right? Heavy meals in the evening can certainly affect sleep. Are you getting enough exercise and fresh air? One of the biggest issues with sleep problems is stress. What is happening in your life that is playing on your mind?

Have a look through the following suggestions; there may be something that will help you. Most importantly, try not to be worried about not sleeping. Go to bed with the thoughts of a good nights rest, relax and sleep well

Suggestion to help you improve your sleep

* Try to get some regular exercise and fresh air.

* Allow time to relax before going to bed.

* Take up some form of meditation; if you find this difficult a class may help. Deep breathing techniques can also be helpful.

* Try reading before bedtime. Stick to something light and easy, maybe even boring, don’t read anything too exciting. Watching a stimulating television program should also be avoided. * Develop a regular bedtime relaxation routine. Try keeping your bedtime and getting up time regular.

* Relaxing in a warm bath or even a warm shower can be helpful.

* Make sure your bed and pillow are comfortable for you, not too hard or soft.

* If light or noise is a problem, use earplugs or eye-mask.

* Make sure you are warm enough, but not too hot and that the room is well ventilated.

* Try a warm drink before bed, such as a warm milk or chamomile tea.
* Keep a pen and paper beside your bed. If you have a lot of things on your mind, write them all down, if they are preventing you from sleeping. Similarly if you wake up and start to think about something, write it down and then you can forget it, until a more suitable time.

* Listen to relaxation music while preparing yourself for sleep.

* Put the clock out of sight, it doesn’t help to have a constant reminder of how long you’ve been awake.

* When you go to bed try some relaxation techniques. Relax your muscles individually and imagine yourself in a peaceful setting.

* Don’t take any stimulants in the evening. These include tea, coffee, cola and chocolate drinks, smoking and alcohol.

* It is best not to eat too close to going to bed and allow at least three ours to digest your evening meal before going to bed.

* If you are having difficulty sleeping, get up and do something relaxing for 20 minutes or until you feel tired again, rather than lie there worrying

*Before bed, let go of all your worries. Write them down of a piece of paper and hand them over to God or the universe to take care of for the night. Place the paper into a bible or under a crystal, whatever works for you. I've heard of a story of a worry tree, where you place all your worries on a tree and allow them to be taken care of. This could be the focus of your meditation. Knowing that you can rest easy, while the tree takes care of your concerns.

* An herbal sleep satchel under the pillow will release the pleasant scent of sleepfulness. Herbs such as Lavender, Lemon Balm, Chamomile and Cinnamon can be used. (I have read that a cut raw onion placed under the pillow can help you sleep, I think I'll stick to the herbs, personally I have cinnamon.)

* Colour is something that can help. Surrounding yourself with relaxing colours of blues and greens.

* Honey is said to help induce sleep. Add to an herbal tea or a hot lemon drink.

From my daughter's witch files.

* Black satchels stuffed with marigold and a citrine crystal induces prophetic dreams and repels nightmares.

* Pillows stuffed with hops or anise seeds aids restful sleep with no nightmares.

* Clear quartz under the pillow can help.

* A sleeping spell: Hold crystal quartz in your hands saying this three times.

"I ask thou spirits of the West to help me seek the land of rest.
Let me slumber all through the night, only to wake whence it is light."

Anonymous said...

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges

Loneliness is not a curse, but a blessing. It is the very tool that helps us discover who we are and what path to follow.

You see, our yearning to be accepted and to delight others with our presence forces us to discover where we fit in and what role to play. The purpose of loneliness is self-discovery, as was pointed out by Hermann Hesse (1877 ~ 1962) who wrote, "Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself." So, when we recognize the pangs of loneliness, instead of running from it, we need to ask ourselves what we can learn from it.

If we have a feeling of emptiness, it is because we are not focused on a purpose for living. It isn't necessary to go on an endless search for meaning. All we have to do is stop, reflect, examine our interests and options, and choose a path. All paths lead to the mountaintop. As long as we are on a path, we will have a sense of direction. And all paths lead away from loneliness, for loneliness is stagnation, passivity, and inaction.

So, you see, loneliness is nothing more than a call for action. When we heed that call, we move forward. But when we refuse to act, there is the danger of prolonging our loneliness. Left untreated, we begin to feel trapped and helpless. When we continue to leave it unattended, there is a chance of slipping into chronic loneliness and depression. The message is clear: when loneliness strikes, action is called for.

Facing our loneliness and taking suitable action needs clear thinking. Unfortunately, some people are held back by distorted thinking and a negative attitude. By distorted thinking, I mean the belief that one's loneliness is caused by an unfair world, cruel people, or tragic circumstances.

Rich or poor, young or old, we are all given 1,440 minutes a day to use as we choose. Whether we take advantage of the gift of time or squander it, we will reap the consequences. What can be fairer than that? This should dispense with the argument that the world is unfair.

The charge that our loneliness is caused by others refusing to reach out to us is equally false. If we are demanding, critical, needy, ungrateful, boastful, nosy, hurtful, spiteful, stingy, and selfish, is it any wonder that we have no friends? As Joseph Fort Newton (1880 ~ 1950) said, "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."

Blaming poverty, lack of education, age, illness, and other whims of fate for one's lack of friends is another false charge. Regardless of one's disadvantages and handicaps, there are always others that are worse off, yet successful. So, it is not our circumstances, but our attitude that decides our fate. And it is always within our power to change our attitude.

From the psychological view, we can say that loneliness is a yearning to be reunited with our lost self. As a young child, we were happy to be the person we were. But then our caregivers and others intervened, pointing out our faults, flaws, misdeeds, defects, blunders, and transgressions. We came to dislike who we were. So, we were torn apart from our original happy self, a person that we may continue to miss and long for. Loneliness, then, is being unhappy with oneself, for as Wayne Dyer says, "You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with."

As soon as we learn to like ourselves, we will no longer be uncomfortable when alone, and our loneliness will fade away. What's more, when we are at ease with ourselves, others will find us comfortable to be with, so attracting new friends will come naturally. But how do we learn to like ourselves? It's easy: be good; do good, and you will feel good. And feeling good is just another way to describe happiness or self-contentment.

Volunteering is a wonderful way to end loneliness. Think of all the lonely people in hospitals and old age homes that would be delighted to spend time with you. Besides offering the opportunity to make new friends and learn new things, volunteering makes you feel good about yourself. So, keep in mind the words of Tennessee Williams (1914 ~ 1983), "When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone." Besides volunteering, think about support groups, clubs, meetings, sports, and other activities. It's hard to be lonely when you're busy!

Finally, develop a positive attitude. Do this by reading inspirational material. A wonderful piece to start with is "Desiderata," which was written in 1927 by Attorney, Max Ehrmann (1872 ~ 1945). If you follow its instructions, you will not only end loneliness, but also find your path and values in life. Here is "Desiderata" (Latin for "those things to be desired"):

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

"Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

"Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

"Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful.
Strive to be happy."

Anonymous said...

Celestal Seaonings Sleepytime tea, reading, an aromatherapy concoction rubbed on the temples worked wonders for me last time I had a bout of insomnia, I got my aromatherapy stuff at Escents in Vancouver not sure if they sell it in the US but I’m sure that you can find something comparable. Also I find just thinking of a “blank white screen” or solid color while breathing in and out to be effective also. Good luck!


Anonymous said...

For insomnia, try this:

Trigger Point Therapy. I've noticed that I fall asleep easier if I do my trigger point therapy right before bedtime. This releases my muscles and helps me to relax. Trigger point therapy is a kind of self massage that loosens trigger points, small muscle contractions, all over your body. (See my recommended book section for more on trigger point therapy).

6. Listen to soft music. Lullabies really do work to make me sleepy. There are lullabies and songs made especially to fall asleep available. I made a CD from some lullabies on Itunes and I play it at night for ones of my sons who has problems getting to sleep.

7. Get sunshine. Try to get out and get some midday sun each day to get you body clock set appropriately.

9. Reconsider the "warm glass of milk" remedy. Milk is very high in calcium which is a magnesium antagonist. As noted above, magnesium is needed to relax muscles and helps to improve sleep quality.

10. Use organic cotton bedding. Permanent press bedding can give off low grade chemical fumes while you sleep. Your body can deplete nutrients such as zinc and magnesium trying to detoxify these types of chemicals.

11. Open your bedroom windows when you can to let the fresh air in. Sealed up houses can be major sources of indoor air pollution. Fresh air puts less stress on your body by decreasing the amount if irritants and airborne particles your body has to detoxify.

Anonymous said...

Some insomnia techniques you probably
haven't seen before

* Sleep With Your Head Facing North
* Don't Watch TV or Read Before Going to Bed
* Toe Wiggling
* Stomach Rub
* Progressive Relaxation
* Deep Breathing
* Visualize Something Peaceful
* Visualize Something Boring
* Imagine It's Time to Get Up
* Quiet Ears

And some new suggestions from readers
who have found these remedies useful for their own insomnia.

* Not Thinking
* Smoke Yourself to Sleep
* Yawning
* Sex—Alone or with Others
* Backwards Counting / Mental Computer
* South, Not North
* Earplugs
* Secure Place
* Bedtime Routine
* Hot Water Bottle
* Green Cows—and Other Animals of Color

Anonymous said...

The sex thing always works for me.

Birdie said...

eh, are all those anonymous comments actually SPAM? good grief... sign your name, people!

eh, sorry Scribby... this is your journal and your place to boss people around LOL

Sorry about your back and the stupid secretary. You should have charged them for your time wasted! AND, you should have stayed and insisted to be seen! You can't wait a whole week darn it! {hugs}

betty said...

Whoever anonymous is they're a fountain of information, lol. Hope your back feels better!

Justfly said...

Got to admit there Joan, there is some interesting stuff to read from anonymous!
Hope you get some rest today Scribby.

WMC said...

Insomnia stinks, Scribbs; I know, bec. I've had it really bad for 19 years straight. I use melatonin, benedryl and calcium @ nite to help me at least be able to fall asleep and get 4-4.5 hours for sure (usually a total of 6, but interrupted @ least once).

Too bad there's not some sort of "backrub in a jar." ;)

Wishing you improvement and an encouraged heart very soon.

Anonymous said...

I was gonna leave my recommendations for insomnia relief, but I see someone already beat me to it. Hope you get some rest, friend. :)


Anonymous said...

oh Scribby, life sucks at times and you're getting a double dose of grief.

Birdie - the anonymous posts can't be spam. This is a private space. So many people suffer from insomnia and Scribbs friends CARE. Not sure why the anon posts, though.

Have you found a remedy for the insomnia, Scribbs?


Japee said...

Back pain sucks. The only good things is that by waiting it MIGHT get better on it's own. A huge percentage of the time it does. Meanwhile I hope you have some good meds.

They are doing miracles these days with nerve blocks. There is help out there - after you get in the system. Good luck.

Kim said...

Have you tried a heat or ice pack? That sometimes helps me.

Anonymous said...

Sure cure for sleeplessness:
read these comments thrice.

Anonymous said...


Er......... where are ya??? Paleeeze write Scribby. We are ALL concerned.