Friday, January 09, 2009

Where will it all end?

Anyone who knows me can tell you I love animals. Really. Particularly cats and dogs, of course, but I also have an affinity for raccoons, skunks -- at least deodorized skunks -- and various birds and assorted other critters.

Of course I have been known to eat a few animals, too. Cows, pigs, sheep, reindeer and doubtless a few others I can't recall off the top of my head. Birds, too.

This makes me the Enemy according to PETA. But my leather shoes and belts would do that even if I limited my grazing to fruits, grains and vegetables. So would the hood of my parka, which is lined with coyote fur.

So why do I bring this up, particularly when the majority of you share the same vices? It's because PETA, not content to protect the rights of kittycats, doggies, horsies and other pets animal companions, has launched a new campaign.

They are up in arms about the mistreatment of fish -- as exemplified by fishing -- and have decided the best way to get our yoots in tune with the true goodness of our finned, gilled and scaled friends is to give them a new name:

Sea Kittens.

Yup. Who could be mean to a cute, cuddly sea kitten?

A website has been launched to extol the virtues of these lovable beings.

Here are the first lines from their explanation: "People don't seem to like fish. They're slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you're swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat."

To quote the immortal Redd Foxx: "You expect me to believe this sh*t?"

The site goes on to deliver some "Sea Kitten Facts," including: "Like their surface-dwelling cousins, the land kittens, sea kittens enjoy being petted."

There are cute drawings, cute stories, cute "sea kitten" paraphernalia for kids' mommies and daddies to buy, actions they can take (like teaching sea kittens to sing "Kumbayah"?) to stop the depredations visited on out little underwater buddies.


I hardly know what to say, except I'm beginning to jones for a tuna sandwich* right about now....

No matter what, I'm not petting any damn sea kitten fish. No way.

* Dolphin-safe tuna, of course, preferably free-range raised!


John0 Juanderlust said...

"you can learn a lot about a culture by their bedtime stories" Then they apparently have a section of stories they claim fish read at night.
Mental illness. Full blown, full tilt Bozo insanity. That's the truth of it.

It is hard enough for people to comprehend that dogs are not people, that raccoons aren't people, etc. Some animals partner with and depend on humans so that mistake is mildly understandable.

PETA has been pushing the bounds of sanity and getting the same respect they would if they weren't totally insane. No surprise they are now pushing it even farther.

All a symptom of the trendy cynical, pseudo-intellectual practice of putting on airs of superiority to your own species by finding new ways to hate and vilify it.
These people should seriously be confined to rubber rooms or ejected into outer space.

MrScribbler said...

JohnO -- Or perhaps, as Don Corleone would say, "they should sleep with the fishes!"

becomingkate said...

I has the yummiest salmon for supper tonight!
(we try not to talk about Peta because it gets us all wound up, lol)

Dorrie said...

may I pet a shark please?

gee whiz

yackydoodle said...

it all goes back to the false premise that humans and animals have equal value....

KIT said...

I don't even get me started on PETA!

Anonymous said...

These PETA folks must have spent their formative years gnawing on lead-painted window sills. ;)


Kelly said...

Can you eat them? Might be tasty. Funny thing is during my "veggie-tarien" phase I had last year - not once did I feel sorry for a fish and ate them at least once a week.

The fish will be happy to know that pretty much all animals are back on my menu - I don't want to discriminate.

Doug said...

I thought PETA stood for People Eating Tasty Animals...
If The Supreme Being did not want us to eat critters he would not have made them out of meat. Or fish.

Benita said...

HA! I agree totally, but just laughing at some of the funny comments here! :) A few of you guys should be employed as writers for some of the late-night talk shows! Seriously!!

justfly said...

wozies...I would have to agree with Redd Fox, "You expect me to believe this sh*t?"

TuesdayPillow said...

These are the same people that need to become extinct and leave the rest of us the hell alone.