Thursday, January 04, 2007

Brain freeze...

...or, at a minimum, brain overload is what I'm experiencing right now. I know it's not "brain death," since I can still respond coherently to outside stimuli.

I can't write what I should be writing now -- which is an article -- and I can't bring myself to deal with any of the things that are swirling around in my mind. They are all important (well, most are), but every time I try to concentrate on one, the others intrude and it all turns to mush.

Some normal things happened today along with some frustrating and irritating things -- just like every day -- and a slight glimmer of a possible-but-not-to-be-depended-on good thing appeared on the horizon late in the afternoon. I managed to cope with the latter, which involved sounding enthusiastic over the phone and composing an enthusiastic email, but after that the circuits failed again and my mind is a blank screen.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm bouncing off the walls, making strange noises but accomplishing nothing.

This is one of the many, many times I feel loneliness the most. If someone were here, I could babble until I ran out of breath and she'd smile and bring me some tea, would tell me it's all okay, might even find a way to untangle all the wires and get me functioning again.

In fact, a few carefully chosen warm words and a warm touch would probably effect a total repair of the broken cognizance unit.

But I'm not going to know for sure.

All I can do is hope the circuit-breakers reset themselves. I sure as hell don't know how to do it.

9 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. I don't know where I'd be without the people I confide in, and when they're all unavailable for the big brain dumps like the one you're describing, it's the only time I feel truly lonely. Feel free!

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  2. Anonymous8:54 PM

    I hear you, Mr. S. For better or worse, I'm standing right next to you.

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  3. I decided to stay away from JS tonight and vegetate in front of the TV. I think brain overload was my issue today.

    I wish my circuit breakers would open so I could shut down.

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  4. Anonymous10:28 PM

    You were making strange noises? Describe these strange noises.

    -Lauren

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  5. Anonymous10:39 PM

    I so understand what you mean. When I'm alone things just seem so much worse. :(

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  6. Anonymous11:13 PM

    I don't know what I am doing either. It's all a blur.

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  7. Anonymous11:54 PM

    If I had a brain it might work sometimes. I swear I have been on overload myself. So I understand how you must feel. When you find the switch to get back on track. Please let me know.
    Roz

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  8. Anonymous12:06 AM

    Awww...Scribs I'm sorry. Lonliness sucks. Even those of us who are NOT alone at home are lonely. I think I'd rather be alone...

    Gill

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  9. Anonymous9:17 AM

    I wish I could tell you how to reset those circuit breakers, but I don't have a license for that.

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